The Problem with Xigaza #2

Avuxeni,

Previously on “Yi ri yini genge with FanaThePurp”

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We reviewed the interesting position Xigaza artists find themselves in as they grow as a genre.

Vatsonga have great songwriters; they walk amongst us and would know exactly what to do if they wrote for our Avengers. This brings me to another point. Our superstars tend to elevate alone; they never show up with a crew. It’s only BMT that has a crew; everyone else is just a two-man act at most. DJ Tira came with Afrotainment. HHP with Motswako. A-Reece with his friends. A$AP Rocky and his crew. Joe Shirimani with Limpopo Poison. You never come out alone; you need to come with your people. Squad Deep. Wu-Tang style. If I had the power, the following people would make up my dream-team writing camp to back the Avengers of Xigaza music —

Mr. Post

The best pen of our time and a master of the language. Hi yena ntsena a nga ninginisa Nyoka ya ntshava. He knows what it takes to build and entertain a loyal audience. Mr Post consistently wrote his way into people’s hearts despite being the best of singers, but his use of words is so compelling. He even released an album as Daddy Post mocking how Xigaza artist sounds. The album is commentary on the emptiness of Xigaza music, but most people thought Mr. Post wa fostela kambe they missed the point

Dr. Sophy

Culturally and spiritually rooted, plus she is a true patriot of the genre. She has kept the true sound of 2000s Xigaza and is a master of the language. She drops every month and the music sounds the same, but they bang. She has a consistent sound and pen game.

Xisomisani

The most underrated Xitsonga talent of our time. This kid has a special hand, and it is yet to be fully discovered despite her having been around since she was in high school. I believe if Sho Madjozi would dare get her to write her comeback album, she would dominate Xitsonga. The two of them would be a nightmare.

King Tsonga

He can write anything. In fact, I would just buy his songs and give them to the Avengers to do their own sped-up versions. He is the king of radio hits and slow sing-alongs. Also, he is consistent just like Dr Sophy. These two drop out of passion not for fame.

Dr. Joe Shirimani

He has a hand in three classic South African genres: Disco, Kwaito, and Mindzhumba. The song that marked the rise of Xitsonga as the next cool thing on social media was his song, Hekeleheke, a song used as a meme and known by every member of a Xitsonga household. Joe Shirimani has more crossover songs than any other producer to ever do it in our history. He launched goats such as Penny Penny and Benny Mayengani.

Solly Makamu

Another underrated Xitsonga talent. The Godfather of Xitsonga comedy. He writes stories that true Xigaza fans sing word for word. He is simply the best to ever do it. He has stood the test of time. He is one of the forefathers of what today we call Xigaza music. Yes, Xigaza is just electronic Xitsonga music.

Benny Mayengani

It is unfortunate that his handlers misguided him, but Baloyi is a natural A&R. He knows a hit when he hears it, and that’s what he was supposed to have done: evolve into an Oskido and sign all these 2000s acts while he still had the chance, but swicele aside. Benny knows how to sniff out a hit sample. He has a beautiful ear. Xigaza has endless classics to draw from, and I’m sure he knows which ones to pick. I dlawa hi vutandi kambe I na nyiko yo hlawuleka yo suma.

Steven Makhongela

He is the only man who knows how to write for women. He has an ear for the next big female vocalist. He never misses with his picks. Example 1. Rhuza da Prod. Example 2. Nurse Matlala to Khanyie. He has mastered how to write for women.

Dr. Sunglen Chabalala

The Beyoncé of Xitsonga music, the fifth woman who can stand toe to toe with Zaida Chongo. A rare woman who emerged during the disco era, killed it, and went on to do every Xitsonga genre to date.

With this dream team, I would focus on these specific acts as the Avengers.

John J The Big Baby

He represents what they think of us: tall, dark, with big d*ck energy. I’d play to the stereotype, dress him colourfully. He has shown that he is willing to be a bit artsy ku komba genge ku na ye wa swi kota ku bomba. A flamboyant dark-skinned talent who can sing, write, and dance is gold. He can swing between ePalms na a GQ cover with Rich Mnisi and Wiseman Zitha. John is the new-age Xinyori.

Metro Beatz RSA

He represents the light-skinned loverboy who makes melodies. Metro i Drake wa hina, which means we can pair him with anyone. He will deliver. He is the male Sho Madjozi. He looks exotic enough to appeal to coloureds, mixed-race people, and the racially ambiguous market of people who don’t look or sound black enough.

Miss Hilary

She represents the new-age versatile Tsonga woman. She comes from this world; it shaped the woman she is today. She is the only female triple threat – she can sing, dance, and act. She is a mix of a kasi girl who looks like a baddie but can afford her own life. She just wants a good vibe and a good time.

The Xigaza Super 4

I would make a group like Ruff Ryders made up of:

XamaCcombo wa Mhana Vafana

All the new Xigaza acts sound like him. Na swona risimu a ri helelangi ku ri hava XamaDanger. He is the Matshwa Bemuda of Xigaza. He held it down after Russian Army fell apart. There would be no Xigaza without XamaCcombo and DJ Slikour. The Avengers hijacked what these two kept alive while they were trying to be hip-hop acts.

Papa Rhulani

The ad-lib king, that’s all they need him for… he comes in when they are done with the song and just reacts to it in his style. Done. Papa Rhulani is a unicorn, just like Benny, who is just badly managed. Literally, he is our Shebeshxt minus the crime and face tattoos.

Lekker Stylist

The ultimate braai master of Xigaza. The tastemaker of the season. If we have him, we have the streets. He is a chancer who always lands on a hit song. And another multi-talented triple threat; he can act, dance, DJ, dress, and style the Avengers.

Blackmyth

I’d sign him and turn him into own Una Rams x Sjava x Ed Shereen. He is another triple threat; he can sing, act, and write. He just needs a plan. All the Majors need to give him is singing lessons, a guitar, and their Xitsonga classics for him to renditions and serenade the world.

Team Selfie

And my trump card: a group of masked dancers like it was during the times of Peter na Magolongondo. This would be a proper rural act that knows how to entertain the masses the way they love and know Xigaza. It’s an army when they show up.

But that’s not, each act needs a team and a budget to realize them into a star. Making the song is one part of it. This is what the majors are avoiding doing, so they hunt for complete products that they can push with a push of a button – more output for less input. Kambe a swi bohi hi tiya hi vona, they have proven time and time again that when they go va hi siya na ndlala. We can’t keep repeating the same mistake. We need more independent record labels that operate like mainstream labels. Hi nga ti tekeli hansi. Our artists deserve expert teams to propel them, hayi swioxanyama swo tata Viano.

Kambe ni miyerini… a ni Hahani wa mina a va loyi.

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“Keep exploring, keep learning, and let the language guide you.”